Third Day of School....Who knew?

Well I didn't cry on the first day but I cried today....

McQueen wanted to take the bus today so I told him we would try it. We got up this morning to a rainstorm. Awesome. So I drove him to the bus stop and he sat in the car watching for the bus. At the first bus he jumped out and went and lined up with the kids....well, it was the bus for the Catholic school so I called him back. Great. So that started his anxiety about getting on the wrong bus. He was already nervous but this made it worse. So his bus pulls up and I tell him that's the right one and he goes to get in line. The kid in front of him couldn't get his umbrella shut to get in so McQueen kept trying to get by. Then all of a sudden he just couldn't try anymore. He came flying back to the car in tears that he missed me to much and why can't I just drive him. My heart just smashed. He was too scared? Why did I make him do it?

So, I calmed him down and drove him in. All the way he was adamant that he would still take the bus home because his friend would be on it then and so it would be ok. So, I'm proud that he wants to try again...but what if he breaks down again? I won't be there?

I walked him to class and while he was at his locker I talked to his teacher. She assured him that she walks each kid right to their bus and makes sure they get on the right bus. She does this for them every day until Christmas. I love her. She was awesome reassuring him.

When I went to leave he came running over in tears. He didn't want to stay. I was shocked. He has never once done this when it came to playschool or even the last few days of kindergarten. But I think, today, with the bus incident, it just got to him. It was too much for him to handle on his own. I did get him calmed down. I did get him to agree to stay. But it hurt. I wanted to just bring him home. I don't want him to feel the anxiety that I do when I'm in a new situation. I've tried so hard to hide that from him, and here it is anyways. I know how he feels. I know how hard it is to make yourself suck it up and do it. I didn't want to make him.

So, now I'm worried that he is going to ride the bus home after school in tears. I hope not. I'm sending him all the brave/calm thoughts I can. I know he will surprise me. I know he is braver than I am.